I spoke about you the other day.
I was catching the train home with a friend and somehow got onto the topic of kids and the future.
I told her jokingly how before my brother came around, I couldn’t wait to become a parent someday, but now that I’ve got a daily dose of it, I wanted to enjoy my youth a little longer.
She thought I meant I never wanted kids - untrue. I still want to have them someday.. just a little later than sooner.
I told her fondly about how we would talk about the future like it could happen. The house, how many kids, pets, our cooking habits and the like.
Talking about those things made me feel like nothing changed. I felt happy. And you’d be proud - I didn’t even shed a tear.
Unfortunately, writing all this in a personal post at 12am…
It’s hard not to think about you.